A Refrigerator Full of Memories

We are halfway through the Thanksgiving weekend and I am grateful for a refrigerator full of leftovers. Even after sending my daughter, Lindsay, back to New York with food for her annual Sunday “Friendsgiving” gathering, my partner, Rich, and I can still do replays over the next few days. Sure, it may get a little boring but it’s not the food that matters; it’s the memories attached to making and sharing the Thanksgiving meal together with family and new friends.

Shut my eyes, and there’s my grand-nephew, Zach, nearly wriggling out of his skin with excitement because I asked him to introduce our meal with his 1st grade class story of Squanto. He taught us how Squanto learned the English he needed to teach the pilgrims their life saving skills in the new world. Kind monks saved Squanto from Spaniards who had sold him into slavery in the old world and he subsequently ended up in England before returning to his Native American homeland. While we caught up with each other over appetizers before our feast, those who wanted to made gratitude plates.

It was easy to set up a crafts table with heavy duty paper plates, magazines, permanent markers, glue guns, scissors and a box full of embellishments. I didn’t how people would choose to express their gratitude, but I was delighted to see how readily they dove into the project. One guest came near the table and said, “I can’t do this. I’m not an artist!” A few plate-makers immediately responded, “Neither are we, but this is fun. You should try it!” And she did. A few chose to share what they’d made when I asked for volunteers. Four year old Millie explained that her plate featured the Lorax “because this is my favorite book,” and dogs, “because I love all my doggies.” My niece, Lyn, created a plate that spoke to her gratitude for living in a country that protects women’s rights and has given her so many powerful women role models to emulate. Our guest, Tyler, featured Woody Allen at the center of his plate because he is grateful for the brilliance of Woody Allen. The range of expressions varied as widely as the people in the room which is so American.

Others had written six word memoirs inspired by Larry Smith’s brilliant six word memoirs site.Tyler understood right away that Hemingway, the writer known for his terse prose, must have inspired Smith when he wrote his shortest novel ever: “Baby shoes for sale. Never used.” Lindsay and I had gone online earlier that morning and cherry picked eight of our favorite Thanksgiving memoirs to give our guests samples for inspiration. My dad, at 85, left everyone laughing with his: “I’m with it. I get it.” And he does. Sometimes his penetrating questions and detailed recollections leave some of us wishing we were as sharp at half his age.

We laughed, created,reflected and then once again feasted on Rich’s amazing fried turkey now augmented by a smoked alternative, the new favorite, and the array of dishes contributed by each family. So even though this has been a tough year of a hard surgery gone bad for me, when I open the fridge I smile. I survey the shelves, celebrate us again and pray that all over the country—no matter what our circumstances—all of my fellow Americans found something to be grateful for on this Thanksgiving.

Voting Lessons

A few weeks ago, an educator friend wrote to me in desperation. “I can’t find any good resources for teaching young kids about the voting process.” She didn’t want a text book. She wanted great exercises that she could adapt to her kindergarten classroom and share with other teachers in her primary school program. I didn’t believe that, especially in an election year, there was nothing out there. But I soon had to agree with her. It was really hard to find “good resources.”

After some digging around I sent her to The Center for Civics Education which has been creating substantive civics materials for promoting healthy democracy since 1964. I also suggested The Constitution Center in Philadelphia which brings the meaning of our foundational documents to life although their lessons were targeted to an older audience. Family activities that appeared to be quite engaging weren’t loaded onto the site each time we tried to access them. And finally, I suggested that she take a look at this lesson plan posted on the Scholastic site. I thought a talented educator could adapt it for bright, younger students.

Most of the other material I found came packaged with political agendas that tainted what was often a decent intention: democracies must engage their youngest members early in order to create good citizens. But the key idea is engagement, not brainwashing.

My plea today is please vote if you have not already done so. Share that fact with your children if you have children of voting age and urge them to vote too. If your children are young, take them with you to the polls. Let them see how important this privilege and responsibility is. Share stories about voting with them. I remember going with my Mom to vote when I was a kid. I never forgot the moment of solemnity when I stepped into the voting booth with her and she pulled the lever closing the curtains behind us to protect the privacy and importance of her choices. The long line of voters told me that every adult there valued the same thing. Tell your children what is happening all around the world as people fight and die for the right to vote and remind them that a long time ago, we too fought for the right to be independent and free so that each of one of us could have a voice in our own government.

Citizenship should be taught in our schools, but it must be taught in our homes. We the people are responsible for our country—no one else.